Just this morning, i was sort of debating with a friend as to whether nice Jewish boys are likely get off on the whole “Catholic schoolgirl” thing. The consensus was that, yes and with great frequency, they certainly do just that.

Then, I stumbled across these piccies of Katy Perry, with the lollipop and the bubbles, throwing off that same sort of vibe. Oddly, however, this chick annoys the hell out of me, not because of her subject matter, but because it all seems like quite a bit of fakery. After all, she used to be a Christian contemporary singer who loudly extolled her love for Jesus, and now, well, she’s more known for her lesbian innuendo than anything else. Of course, Katie denies all claims that “I Kissed a Girl” is a shamelessly subversive attempt to sell herself:

“It’s just an innocent kiss!” says Perry, wide-eyed. “You know, girls are at a slumber party and they are hanging out with other girls, we’re all deathly afraid of that first kiss by that boy who we know is just gonna slobber all over our face.” And, she says, the song is about the “undeniable beauty” of women. “Some women are just so beautiful, that female or male, you would probably kiss them.”

Which begs the question, has she kissed a girl? “Oh yes,” she grins, “It was delightful.” When pushed Perry won’t say if she’s gay or straight, instead she describes herself as “metro-sexual”. The subtext being she’s young enough to experiment and old enough to know she’s straight but mainly is keen to keep all potential Perry-buying audiences interested by appealing to all persuasions.

This is all about public relations, folks, but it looks like, despite all efforts and seven weeks at the top of the bestselling singles charts and an impressive number of downloads for her notorious single, the chick isn’t selling a lot of full albums. At the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, Katy admitted that she “doesn’t have a whole lot of money” and is practically penniless. Perhaps she’s just making up shit by saying that, or maybe, just maybe, too many musicians have pulled the faux lipstick-lesbian card for this trick to have any quantifiable sort of effect.

Imagery: Celebutopia