Kevin Federline has chopped off his greasy cornrows and donated them to cancer patients. Little does he know that much of what gets donated to charity gets scrapped for its poor quality, and I’m thinking that his nasty tendrils fit the no-quality bill. Ahem.

Moving on to more KFed news, he’s released another EXCLUSIVE KFED TRACK, which you really should listen to just for entertainment’s sake. Just because I’m the adventurous type, Agent Bedhead has taken the sooper seekrit plunge into KFed hell just to excerpt these lyrics for my lurkers:

“This is the real shit.
I throw you a curveball, fool.
Y’all mother fuckers are strikin out right now.

Insert indesciperable homeboy whitey lyrics.

You magazine motherfuckers too can all go kiss a dick.
US Weekly. I’ll shout every one of you bitches out.
All your shit is fake.
I love my kids, motherfuckers.
I love my wife too.
You know what you can do?
Heh heh.
Grab your socks.
HA HA HA!”

Please notice that he absolutely subjected Thomas Dolby’s She Blinded Me With Science! to death by sampling. No longer does that song remain sweet poetry in motion. Damn you, KFed!