Thanks to the enterprising people at The Superficial and the magic of MP3s, you can now listen to Mr. Spears telling you in his own words things you never, ever wanted to know. Sex with Britney? It”’s great! (Better than sex with Shar Jackson, according to the always classy KFed. That”’s like telling me that I”’m more hunky and virile than Mr. Furley on the old Three”’s Company.) Also, KFed would really, really like to do a threesome with Jessica Alba.

Poor Jessica. Appearing in Kevin Federline”’s sexual fantasies must be like having someone walk over your grave, only about eighty times worse. Ms. Alba is probably scrubbing herself with boric acid right this minute.