About a year and a half ago, I made the half-assed and unfounded declaration that mommy blogging was something that I would never do. Back then, I justified it with a pithy conclusory statement, which in turn insinuated that nothing could really be gained by the process. Boy, was I an asshole, and to boot, I had it all wrong. The real reason that I don’t mommy blog is that so many others “do it” better than I ever could:

Exhibit One

Exhibit Two

Exhibit Three

Sooper Seekrit Note: Stop laughing. This will happen to you, and oh man, it’s gonna be beautiful when your kiddo craps up his back. Figuratively speaking of course – the “beautiful” aspect, I mean. The other part will happen quite literally.

Intermission music.

Now that I’ve presented a prima facie case and done my penance, let’s move onto the real assholes in this world, which though we might thank heaven for little girls and go on with life, ex parte communications remind us of the evil that lurks each second of each day. Never let them out of your sights, moms and dads.