It’s Valentine’s Day weekend, when men take a break from behaving like those couch potatoes in the beer commercials, crushing beercans against their foreheads and lighting their farts on fire while ogling Pamela Anderson or some other grotesquely enhanced slag and making “HEY-ohh!!” Ed McMahon noises. No, we men do have our romantic side, deeply hidden though it may be, and deep down inside we want someone we can take in our arms and cherish, someone we could commit to spending the rest of our lives with. You know, someone like Hugh Grant.

Or so we’re forced to conclude after seeing the results of a poll conducted by lovefilm.com, asking which romantic films men secretly like to watch. Love, Actually and Four Weddings and a Funeral
took the top two spots, while Bridget Jones’ Diary appeared farther down the list. No other star, male or female, appeared in multiple films on the list. I have no idea what this says about those deep inner yearnings that men can’t acknowledge even to themselves, but women who want their men to make a serious commitment might want to work on their British accents. (Unless you’re already British, in which case you’re set.) A charming stammer wouldn’t hurt, either. And lots and lots of blinking.

Valentine’s Day bonus: Those who don’t have anyone to cuddle up with on February 14 might want to order a box of BitterSweets, as a reminder that you really don’t deserve to have a partner, and in any case you’re probably better off without one. As Spiderman once said, he swings fastest who swings alone.