Jack Osbourne finally broke his silence on his odd makeout session with Kate Moss. One cannot blame the little chap, since he was certainly overcome with the shock of being kissed by the last of the supermodels and is still getting over the whole stigma of existing as the son of “The Prince Of Fucking Darkness.” Tough life, ya know?

In his upcoming autobiography, 21 Years Gone, Jack characterizes his encounter with Kate as an “epic” moment of his life. The two locked lips on the dance floor of Kate’s last birthday party in January 2006. Unfortunately for him, Jack does emphasize that the kiss really was just a kiss though:

“[T]here was little more to it than that. Needless to say, the rumours didn’t take very long to fly around the globe and soon – in the eyes of the media – Kate and I were an item. Not the worst rumour, but a little off the mark.”

Speaking of media hype, the Daily Mail claims that Pete Doherty and Kate Moss are set to marry within weeks, but we’ve been hearing this for months, so that’s nothing new. As usual, the paper that Nugget states is actually known across the pond as the “Daily Shite” has engaged in pure speculation. Much like Kate Hudson’s nonexistant sixth toe.

Not-So-Random Question: As a supermodel, Kate Moss gets paid to sell clothing for the best designers. So why is she often photographed topless?