By now, we’re all pretty familiar with the impending atrocity known as Killers, which appears to be a less entertaining hybrid of True Lies and Mr. & Mrs. Smith and stars Ashton “King of the Twitterverse” Kutcher and the insufferable Katherine Heigl. Speaking of the latter, wouldn’t it be great if her character bit the dust in a fiery ball of flames (as seen above)? One person who probably wouldn’t mind is Tom Selleck, who seems awfully intent on maintaining some distance between himself and Heigl:

While Kutcher and Heigl are certainly nice to look at, physically speaking, the production budget of Killers ran a hefty $75,000,000, a significant portion of which was devoted to the emergency waxing of Kutcher’s chest, as detailed on his Twitter page:

“Oh no! My stunt double waxed his chest. Oh good god nooooo! Brb I’m in the middle of a debate as to how to avoid doing the same.”

In addition, Killers also must compete against three other wide releases when it opens next Friday. Of course, one of these films just happens to be Get Him to the Greek, featuring some significant Russell “Wearing Out My Welcome” Brand, but methinks that audiences may soon suffer Heigl fatigue as well. As to Kutcher, I believe the correct term would be “apathy.” In other words, this movie stands very little chance of recouping its budget.

Imagery: Lionsgate