What a day. The Agent is experiencing technical difficulties and the news is so slow that I think events have actually started moving backwards, so we might as well go back in time a few days and discuss Lady Gaga’s egg idiocy at the Grammys on Sunday night. No problem, really, because Gaga and the rest of the world won’t stop talking about it. On Tuesday, Gaga called into Ryan Seacrest’s radio show and claimed she spent 72 hours in that thing—no, not banging frantically on the lid like Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap. Instead, she was stewing in her own creative juices:

I was in there for about 72 hours,” Gaga told Seacrest. “And it was a very creative experience, and it was time for me to prepare and really think about the meaning of ["Born This Way," which she performed on stage] and get prepared for the performance. I really wanted to be born on stage.”

The writer at the link points out that either that egg concealed some amazing plumbing technology or Gaga has superhuman sphincter control, but that’s not the least of the problems with this story. Gaga may have overstated the length of her stay—by about 4,290 minutes, to be exact, since the oxygen tank she was breathing from contained only 30 minutes’ worth of air. Too bad, because it would have been fun to see the lid pop open and release 72 hours of Gaga’s creative juices and other bodily effluvia onto the unsuspecting crowd. Like gym socks, I’m thinking, if they were worn by those miners trapped in Chile. As it is, we’ll have to wait until Gaga releases her complete line of fragrances to get the full effect.