Bloody hell. It looks like the film industry really is hell-bent on ruining remaking as many movies as possible. Remember when we were so thrilled that Robert Rodriguez had finally announced the demise of the ill-advised Barbarella remake? Well, it appears the bitch is back, for that German studio who agreed to finance the film for Rodriguez doesn’t wanna let a bad idea go to waste, so they reportedly plans to resurrect the Barbarella remake with a different director. Ha.
Now brace yourselves, for I’ve got some really fucking bad news to pass on. Hollywood is currently in the initial stages of a remake of Commando (1985). While I’ve gotten over my initial anger at the thought of, say, some awful director like Brett Ratner destroying one of my top ten favourite movies, I’m definitely not happy about this crap. However the finer details of this project end up shaking loose, you can be certain of one thing regarding this remake: It will be judged harshly.
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Oh, say it isn’t so… Will it be Vin Diesel or Dwayne Johson given the chance to crap all over the role of John Matrix? And did you just say that Commando was one of your top ten favourite movies? And have I told you yet how madly in love I am falling with you? And can I possibly start any more sentences with ‘and’?
I’m thinking Vin Diesel will get this one. Either that, or….. I hate to say it….. Hugh Jackman. An Aussie doing an Austrian accent. Gah.