I don’t know about you, but I really feel like it’s my right to know when an actor is heterosexual. Let’s take Kirk Douglas as an example. He just assumes that we shall find him incredibly manly because of his displays of testosterone in such classics as Ulysses, Spartacus, and Town Without Pity. The sheer nerve of this guy — not indulging us with details of his private life. Are we supposed to believe, simply because he married a woman and procreated, that he is indeed heterosexual? C’mon, Mister Douglas. We’re not that stupid. When an arguable screen legend doesn’t feel comfortable expressing this sort of thing, it’s a bit troublesome. Is there supposed to be something, like, embarrassing about being a hetero dude in Hollywood?
Luckily, Kirk Douglas has just been outed as a heterosexual. That John Travolta — he’s smooth like butta.
5 comments
WTF? I hope that was in the context of a joke.
Yes, of course it was. As if!
[...] John Travolta outs Kirk Douglas as a Hetero -AgentBedHead [...]
I mean the kiss, not your post. I mean… am I in danger of being snogged by a horny Travolta if I walk around Malibu? I will be down there in January. Should I carry mace?
it was the tongue that jump-started kirk’s pacemaker
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