Back in April, Robert Rodriguez unequivocally stated that, this summer, he would co-direct a feature length version of his fake Grindhouse trailer, Machete. Of course, Rodriguez says lots of things, so, even though he is a talented director, it’s pretty hard to take his frequent and varied announcements seriously. Surprisingly, Machete has actually entered production this week with Rodriguez co-directing with protégé Ethan Maniquis and Danny Trejo reprising his role as the titular character. In addition, Variety confirms the supporting cast: Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey, Jessica Alba, and Lindsay Lohan.

You know, I really was excited (for a few years now) about the possibility of Machete, but the inclusion of those last two cast members now makes me, well, a little depressed and a lot less enthused about the film. The only reason I can think of for Rodriguez taking such a gamble on Lohan is that she’s probably gonna be playing the part of the Senator’s daughter, that is, the girl who shows her tits while participating in a threesome with her own mother and Machete. At minimum, we know Jessica “No-Nudity Clause” Alba won’t be playing that role.

Here’s the original Grindhouse (NSFW) Machete trailer: