Madonna might be slipping inexorably into senescence and general cultural irrelevance, but the old girl still likes to get her freak on. The Daily Mail has pictures you probably never wanted to see that give all the gory details of Madonna’s colorful sex life. Apparently Madonna and Guy Ritchie are into role reversal, with Madonna playing the guy and Guy playing the filthy, depraved slut who enjoys getting her various orifices pounded with something called a Purple Penetrator. Go ahead and click on that link if you really want all the details about the Penetrator’s “vibrating bullet for extra clitoral stimulation,” but we’re already deep into TMI territory here.

Speaking of whichwhat the hell kind of sex shop makes the customer tote their toys home in a see-thru bag? I can’t decide if Britain is a little backward in this regard, or if this is another manifestation of the UK’s incredibly sophisticated shame-free culture.