Malkovich? Malkovich. Malkovich!

By Bedhead in Drool, Halle Berry, John Malkovich, Matthew McConaughey

malkovich burn after reading

Call us Matthew McConaughey, mates, because our minds are blown. What’s the reason, you ask? Well, in my film review of The Secret Life of Bees, a helpful commenter (with the handle “bucdaddy”) tipped me off about a certain statement by one John Malkovich in the November 2008 issue of Esquire magazine. Truthfully, I didn’t believe him at first. So, in an attempt to confirm the veracity of this claim, I dropped everything, drove to the nearest bookstore, and took a peek at the latest Esquire, specifically, the “What I’ve Learned” interview with John Malkovich on page 128:

Twenty-five or thirty years ago, you became famous, what’s the worst that could happen to you? Page 6? Cindy Adams? Liz Smith? There weren’t cell phones with cameras. Waiters didn’t listen to your conversations and send them to Drudge or Defamer or Gawker or Jezebel or Agent Bedhead. Now we’re all Japanese. We’re a nation of paparazzi. And it’s okay. You make your peace with it. We get so many rewards, we’re much more remunerated than other people, so guess we should take more licks than other people, too.

Bloody hell! At first, I wasn’t sure whether he was passing us an insult or a compliment. Hell, I’m still not sure… but I had to quickly ponder, “Does John Malkovich want to kick our asses?” and “Have we ever written anything awful about John Malkovich?” No, we sure haven’t, and, in fact, Mr. Atoz and I have each made just one brief, indirect mention apiece about him. However, if you click here, it probably looks like we talk a bunch of smack about the guy, which we would never do. That is, unless the bloke really does want to beat the living hell out of us.

So, uh, thanks for the shoutout, Malkovich. Can we call you that? Oh, and all you bitches should go buy the latest Esquire magazine (Halle Berry is on the cover). Hell, now I have eight copies of the damn thing.

UPDATE 10/30: The Esquire article is now online — “What I’ve Learned: John Malkovich” — go read it, dammit!


the wolf

I think he meant “remunerated.”

10.22.08 | 6:16 pm

[...] cleavage. Porn Star or Celebrity (DonChavez) John Malcovich gives a shout out to Agent Bedhead! (AgentBedhead) Jodie Marsh wants your sperm (BrightBlack) Who the hell is Karen Richadson and how can I have sex [...]

10.22.08 | 7:03 pm

Wolf: That was actually a typo on my part. Sorry ’bout that.

10.22.08 | 7:36 pm

[...] Dear ABH, send John Malkovich a thank you note -Agent Bed Head [...]

10.22.08 | 8:50 pm

Hell, who cares if he’s upset. He mentioned you in Esquire! Thats so awesome.

10.22.08 | 8:56 pm

I think John Malkovich looks very fetching in that bathrobe, and that he can put down the hatchet now. Really. I didn’t mean any of that stuff I said before.

10.22.08 | 9:13 pm

Sweet. 8)

10.22.08 | 10:18 pm

see news on Obama Leading by 7 points Average on Polling on

10.23.08 | 3:42 am

Wow! I mean…wow! Esquire! Malkovich!

10.23.08 | 4:40 am

Damn you, Alexis Denisof…

Damn you to heck. How I Met Your Mother star Alyson Hannigan is pregnant…….

10.23.08 | 5:55 am
I R A Darth Aggie

John Malkovich + bath robe + hatchet = pussy.

10.23.08 | 8:12 am

Very cool. You’re so famous…

10.23.08 | 11:23 am

Actually, Our Maximum Leader, we’re not famous at all.

That’s why it’s so cool…. because it’s entirely random.

10.23.08 | 11:26 am

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Okay, how COOL is that?! I <3 Malkovich!!! Definitely one of my all-time faves!

Yay, you’re read by the cool people! (I always knew that anyway – this is gossip for people with functioning brains!)

10.25.08 | 6:44 pm

Also, that Malkovichizer link is way malkovich. ;)

10.25.08 | 6:48 pm

Yeah, that Malkovichizer came in handy, didn’t it? :mrgreen:

10.25.08 | 10:33 pm

I think John is a (big?) reader of political blogs. It would make sense that he’d also read those following the industry. Congrats

10.26.08 | 6:27 am

[...] Esquire magazine, John Malkovich mentioned her blog. I won’t spoil it by quoting him here; go read. And because this is a crummy Sunday link, I will mention it again [...]

10.26.08 | 7:37 am

[...] don’t forget to check out Agent Bedhead’s blog. As stated yesterday, John Malkovich mentioned her in Esquire magazine! Bloggers are the new media! [...]

10.27.08 | 6:28 am

[...] grateful appreciations and sumptuous photocredits {don’t spend them all in one place} to the somewhat notorious AgentBedhead): Trent Reznor performs a pre-show [...]

12.12.08 | 8:56 pm

NOTICE: Agent Bedhead claims no credit for any images posted on this site unless otherwise stated. All visual content is copyright of its respectful owners.

The editors make no claims or warranties as to the correctness of the information on this site. Agent Bedhead has no control over and does not endorse any external site that contains links to or references Agent Bedhead.

If you own rights to any of the images and don't want them to appear on this site, please contact us via e-mail and the images will be removed.

Agent Bedhead | RSS |

WordPress | Return To Top

Bad Behavior has blocked 3383 access attempts in the last 7 days.