Pop singer Mariah Carey further feeds her delusions of grandeur delusions of hotness by aiming to block pr0nstar-turned politician Mary Carey from trademarking her name. As if we could ever mistake Mariah for a sexually desirable woman, Mariah’s lawyers argue that the similarity between the two stars’ names will likely cause confusion for consumers:

“MARY CAREY and MARIAH CAREY share the identical surname and have first names that are very similar. Confusion between your client and her MARY CAREY trademark and our client and its MARIAH CAREY trademark is therefore likely.”

Yet now that the concept has settled into my mind, I do sense a vague common whorishness between the two ladies. In fact, who really was the star of “Lesbian Big Boob Bangeroo 2,” “Busty Dildo Lovers #4,” and “New Wave Hookers 7″ anyway?

Sooper seekrit note to Mariah Carey’s lawyers: Oh relax, we’re just kidding! Loosen up a bit.