Michael Jackson, no stranger to extreme practices of vanity, has turned his obsessions to a fitness regimen. Jermaine Jackson says his brother is doing 300 push-ups per day and lifting weights like a madman, “He’s getting his muscles back.”
Uh….what muscles? I don’t recall Michael Jackson ever possessing visible muscles.
Following his acquittal on child molestation charges last year, Michael vowed to revamp his image in an attempt to shake his fucking weird-ass reputation. Good luck to you, Michael!
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Yeah, good luck with shaking a rep three decades in the making. Even before Michael was old enough to go to the Oscars with creatures like Brooke Shields and Bubbles the Chimp, he was singing tender love songs to his pet rat. Which, later, he probably fed to his pet snake.
Still, we mustn’t forget that Jacko’s “eccentricities” have inspired others to produce great works of art.
Michael Jackson Wants To Be A Macho Man
To be a macho man, Michael, first become a man. To be a man, first become human. It’s gonna be a long hard road from circus freak alien to ripped SEAL wannabe.
Ok, I think I am done laughing. A macho man? *hysterical laughter*
In order to be a macho man, one must be a man first.