Much to the dismay of the Church of Scientology, the story of the Scientology cruise ship Freewinds and its lethal cargo of blue asbestos just keeps hanging around and popping up where it’s least welcome. (A comparison could be drawn here with asbestos itself, but let’s not get heavy-handed.) Reports are emerging that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have been told to seek medical attention after the couple were exposed to asbestos at the $100K birthday bash thrown in Tom’s honor last February. (Query: since Tom was born in July, was this fete seven months late or five months early?) Exposure to blue asbestos can lead to mesothelioma, which is generally fatal within a matter of months, so there is some cause for concern here. But at least Tom and Katie aren’t alone in their worries. Reportedly John Travolta and Kelly Preston have been urged to get themselves checked out as well.

Nor does the list end there. Other celebrities present at the party include Lisa Marie Presley, Juliette Lewis and keyboard legend Chick Corea, among others. In fact, given that the problem has been known but not addressed for more than twenty years, there might well be quite a few others. Ah, well. Mesothelioma sounds like a lethal bitch, but according to the tenets of Scientology, they’ll get over it.