Is there anything in this world that doesn’t prompt Morrissey to bitch like a little girl?

On Pete Doherty: “Kate Moss has just dragged him down to her level. I don’t honestly have an opinion on him. I don’t care.”

On The Brit Awards: “The Brits are ghastly and there has never been a time when they haven’t got it wrong. For me to ever accept a Brit, well, I never would. It would be like Laurence Olivier being happy getting a TV Times award.”

On England’s Prime Minister and his Wife: “I don’t like his face, I don’t like his expression. And I can’t stand Cherie Blair’s face, I just wonder if there can ever be a photograph of her where she has her mouth shut,” he said.

On The Royal Family: “The very idea of Charles being king is laughable. You might as well say that Ronnie Corbett will be king one day. I think that would give people more pleasure.”

On David and Victoria Beckham: “I was interested in intelligent celebrity. The word now is so base and disgusting and seems to apply to anybody that is anything but a celebrity.”

On Canada: “I fully realize that the absence of any Morrissey concerts in Canada is unlikely to bring the Canadian economy to its knees, but it is our small protest against this horrific slaughter – which is the largest slaughter of marine animal species found anywhere on the planet.”

On His Former Bandmates: “I would rather eat my own testicles than reform The Smiths, and that’s saying something for a vegetarian.”

What a complete, self-aggrandizing, pompous, snivelling, ungrateful, and completely humourless prick.