After a couple has vacationed in several exciting global locales, novelty is left lacking and one yearns for a new experience. To fill that unfathomable void, a new sort of retreat will refresh the romance in a dull relationship – enter “Romantic Rehab.”
The Capio Nightengale Hospital is four-star rehab centre that occupies one of the city’s ideal locations in the heart of North London with a spectacular view of absolutely nothing. Within walking distance of a variety of museums, boutiques and exquisite restaurants. Although sparsely decorated and designed for efficiency, each private bedroom includes one double bed, table w/lamp, alarm/clock radio with an extra-large snooze button, and tabloids delivered Monday-Friday for your narcissistic pleasure. In addition, the rooms are equipped with two telephones with voice mail and modem hookup, and two televisions with cable and in-suite movies. The public will think you’re roughing it, but you’ll be living in style with your complimentary hair dryer and coffee maker.
Moreover, each suite has a window situated with a captivating view of the paparazzi, who will capture your plaintive stares and analyze the way you hold your cigarette as some sort of statement on society, perhaps of a Keatsean nature. Enjoy a complimentary cooked-to-order bullshit therapy session each afternoon that won’t help you cure your junkie ways forever, but it will make nice for the cameras. Wet bar and Hilton Honor points not included.
