Forget Huff Post, Jodie Marsh has the best celebrity blog going. Jodie Who? you say, but in England she’s an institution, like Weetabix & pith helmets. The irrepressible Jodie has turned herself into a national icon, even though no one knows just what it is she does. Mainly she slags off archrival Jordan’s polystyrene boobs, shags D-list celebrities, spills out of her clothes, & pops up on reality TV shows.
A natural writer, the first thing that grabs you are Jodie’s post titles: The One About Groping Madonna!, The One About Wearing a See-Through Top!, I’m Naked in My Dining Room, The One About Me Being Attacked By a Slut With Wonky Boobs, The One About Wearing a Lion Tamer Costume to Sunday Dinner, Just Piss Off!
Jodie is also rather long-winded, but that’s because mundane things you & I do every day are in Jodie’s case riveting because she’s famous & we’re not. How can you not feel inadequate reading about Jodie’s fabulous life:
"I watched a bit of Friends & made a few important phone calls. I then started getting ready to go out. Sometimes I’m very creative & imaginative & last night I outdid myself! I wore a peach bandana as a top, a ripped up tiny denim mini skirt, peach colored killer boots, a peachy baker boy hat & giant silver hoop earrings. I had my hair in low pigtails & I curled half of it so that it was all girlie & cute. The denim mini & the boots had diamond studs all over them. It was very glam & sexy."
See also Jodie Marsh drunk; Jodie Marsh Haters vs Jodie Marsh Fans Forum Free-for-All
16 comments
While everyone else sits in shock, I’ll say the word: Boobies.
REAL boobies
REAL boobies
I thought they might be…go ahead, run her up the flag pole and see who salutes…
Thanks a lot. That’s just great. Not only did that make me bash my head against the edge of the desk next to the computer to get the shit out of it, it made me realize that I absolutely have no writing skills whatsoever. She’s brilliant.
My other “writing skills”, though, while much smaller, are, at least, real. Though decrepit.
Bash head again.
Are medicine balls real?
Real big boobies!
Bodacious Ta-tas
Gawd – she’s not even pretty! They go mad over strange people in the UK – remember Adam Ant and Boy George?
Don’t forget about me, Mate.
Well, she’s known for having paid $$$ for that hideous nose-job. Her main claim to fame is her real not fake boobs, especially vis a vis her archrival Jordan (who’s known for the hideously inflated volleyballs on her chest). This is why Jodie titled her autobiography “Keeping It Real”
Gawd – she”’s not even pretty!
South Park has the answer:
[Ms. Crabtree's house. Chef is in bed with her - he's pimping himself out]
Ms. Crabtree: All right, let’s get this show on the road! Come ‘ere, puppy!
Chef: Uh, uh, hold on a second, Ms. Crabtree. How would you like to use some”’ sex toys?
Ms. Crabtree: Sex toys? Like what?
Chef: Like this very special device. [pulls up a paper bag] I call it “Chef’s Pleasure Bag.”
Ms. Crabtree: How does it work?
Chef: Now, all you do is put this paper bag over your head, and it increases your sexual pleasure.
Ms. Crabtree: Really? Well, hell, let’s give it a shot. [She drops a bit, and Chef places the bag on her head]
Chef: [admiring the rest of her] Aaah, yeah. That’s much better.
Glad to see you’re still keepin’ it real, Jeff.
I was going to make some Mom-Like comment regarding this poor, misguided child; but then I realized that if I had her figure, I’d probably run around nekkid, shouting “Lookit me!” too.
No, really.
One question, though: ARE LEG WARMERS REALLY BACK?!
Sheez.
I have a great talent for stating the obvious: Isn’t this woman the UK version of Paris Hilton but with bigger ta-ta’s?
The google traffic off of just that one post….priceless.
she”’s known for having paid $$$ for that hideous nose-job
She has a nose?
I bet you’re gonna try to convince me she can talk next aren’t you?
Jodie Speaks!