Sometimes, I think that Americans are rather sexually repressed compared to Europeans, who seem to quite enjoy their nudity in a variety of public situations, e.g., saunas, beaches, subways. Then, I remember that approximately 95% of the U.S. population is made up of people who I really don’t want to see naked under any circumstance whatsoever. At any rate, Eli Roth took a break from shooting Inglourious Basterds to work in some some hot, sexy, naked, Eastern Germany sauna action. At least, that’s what one would imagine, but things seldom work out as imaginations would have it, no? So, after enduring some bizarre-ass New Year’s Day Special Salt Aufguss and a Eucalyptus Aufguss, poor Mister Roth then stumbled into a rather hilarious scenario:
. . . . [A]nd then saw one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen: naked water aerobics. There was a water aerobics class in the middle of the pool, right in front of everyone. And they were dancing to Huey Lewis and the News’ “The Power of Love.” I couldn’t not be part of this. So I dove in, so to speak, and let me say, after doing naked water aerobics with a hundred Germans, I truly understand the power of love.
Other highlights of this adventure include the phrases, “It’s naked, yet very high tech,” and “It was tits, ass, salt, and balls all around me.” Obviously, Eli has more than a way with words, so go read the rest, bitches.
P.S. Damn, German people are weird.
6 comments
As an expat living in Germany I have to say they have awesome saunas and “wellness” here. Some are truly incredible and you can get 5 star hotel quality spas at reasonable prices. I’ve been to many and they’re invariably relaxing and well designed. However – I prefer not to wear my contacts in the saunas. If I think about it too much, the puritanical American in me takes over and I start to get freaked out at all the nude dudes. Sometimes I’m like “wow that guy got dealt a poor hand,” you know? I try not to look but you just can’t help it. I’m glad that my son is growing up here, though, because intellectually I realize that it’s normal to see nudeness as non-sexual. It’s also unavoidable if you want to enjoy the awesome saunas here. You couldn’t pay me enough to do nude water aerobics, though.
Hee. For awhile now, I totally wanted to ask if you’d experienced these German saunas, but, well, that’s sort of a weird question to ask, right? Unfortunately, if I ever attended one of these facilities, I’d have to leave my contacts in because I’m almost legally blind without them, and falling naked into Huey Lewis water aerobics doesn’t make for a graceful entrance. With fully enabled eyesight, I think the distraction factor would prevent me from fully enjoying the serenity factor of the sauna at hand, so to speak.
I am sort of horrified but mainly jealous. Now have to think of better adventure. Unlikely to find hundreds of Toronto people naked though so it is going to be tough.
[...] I hate Huey Lewis but would have killed to see this – ABH [...]
[...] Yes when I read this title I had to investigate myself. It would appear that Zee Germans are at it again with their non shyness in the realms of nudity. Not only do they trample is in absurd oddity porn, they’re also one upping us in the aerobics department. [...]
Unlikely to find hundreds of Toronto people naked though so it is going to be tough.
Now, now, Flea — don’t despair. Maybe Spencer Tunick will come to town.
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