I’m gonna be totally honest here and acknowledge that, in reference to continuing reports, descriptive terms such as “passionate embrace,” “making out,” and “constantly touching each other” are not anything that I want to visualize when it comes to Natalie Portman and Sean Penn. In particular, it really creeps me out that these two were supposedly getting physical long before Penn filed for divorce from Robin Wright Penn. Natalie doesn’t really seem like the type to help a guy commit adultery, but it really doesn’t surprise me that the pure aesthetics involved in this alleged coupling are rather revolting. Of course, Natalie has rather odd taste in dudes, as illustrated by her most recent relationship with indie rocker Devendra Banhart:

Hell, after dating a Charles Manson lookalike and, by the looks of things, enjoying Ben Stiller’s little Academy Awards performance, the next logical step would actually be for Natalie to date Joaquin Phoenix:

Hey, I happen to think that Natalie and Joaquin could have some very interesting conversations together. However, Joaquin may not like the fact that, as a faux-rapper, Natalie totally kicks his ass: