Just a day after The Sun reassured their male audience that “Size doesn’t matter,” the newspaper printed a headline that reads, “Men fear too small penis size,” along with a handy dandy ruler underneath:

By the way, while you’re using this ruler to measure your penis, don’t forget that The Sun presented you with this lovely opportunity. It’s not as if you don’t have tape measures lying around the house or anything.

Now what I don’t understand is how men can “fear” having a small penis. It either is or it isn’t small, and it isn’t as if one can acquire a small penis like one can catch a disease. No sense of impending doom is involved, really, so this “fear” notion is just reactionary crap.

Most (straight) men that I have spoken to seem to think their own penis is just fucking perfect. Their assumed rationale is based upon the fact that they’ve only really viewed their own penis in close proximity, and thusly, it must be awesome. Perhaps I’m just acquainted with far too many idiots.