The security guards are on high alert in Times Square this New Year’s Eve, and for good reason. The revolting Carson Daily shall host NBC’s New Year’s Eve with musical performances by Lenny Kravitz, Carrie Underwood, Kid Rock, and Velvet Revolver. Hourly countdowns will be provided by Carson Daly, Ryan Seacrest, and, most importantly, Anderson Cooper:
Anderson Cooper will appear on the Countdown Stage to say “Happy New Year”, and lead the Times Square revelers in counting down to the end of each hour [sic] as a fifteen second video countdown is displayed on the giant Panasonic screens accompanied by special sound effects.
So, along with Coop’s ambiguous sexuality, Tila Tequila and her fake bisexualism will be on hand too. Sounds like a plan:
| The Event | At Midnight | |||
| Tila Tequila in NYC | MTV Party at Times Square studios, not open to the public. Lucky us. | Perez Hilton hosts the purple carpet. Bitchfight between Tila and Perez. | ||
| Scott Weiland in NYC | Esquire Magazine and Cipriani 55 Wall Street. $200. | Scott will forget to take his bipolar meds and totally trash the place. | ||
| Kid Rock in NYC | Hotel Gansevoort takeover by Svedka Vodka. $300. | Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy. | ||
| Pamela Anderson in Las Vegas | Tao nightclub at The Venetian Resort Hotel and Casino. $300. | Watch Pamela divorce and remarry Rick Salomon before midnight. | ||
| Kevin Federline in Las Vegas | Tangerine nightclub at Treasure Island. $150. | KFed demonstrates his prowess with the ladies. Hahahahhaaaa! | ||
| Paris Hilton in Las Vegas | LAX nightclub. Poor Nicky Hilton got dragged into this one too. DJ AM. $275. | Magic by Criss Angel, who will hopefully make himself disappear. | ||
| Avril Lavigne in Las Vegas | Prive at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino. $200. | Watch out, Avril’s a spitter! | ||
| Dave Navarro in Las Vegas | Rain Nightclub at the Palms Hotel and Casino, $150+ | Watch Dave Navarro hand out complimentary hats and “noisemakers.” Yawn. | ||
| Mandy Moore, Elisha Cuthbert in Miami Beach | The Raleigh: Music by DJ Samantha Ronson $300+ | Dax Shepard and Jeremy Piven will streak. You can count on it. | ||
| Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz in Miami Beach | Sky Bar at The Shoreclub. Lipsynched countdown by Ashlee. $300+ | Papa Joe will launch a preemptive assault against the emo, who will cry. | ||
| Kim Kardashian in Miami Beach | Mansion party featuring the most airbrushed Playmate ever. $200. | Kim’s ass will overtake the world at midnight. Apocalypse! |
Previously: A Totally Hetero New Year’s Eve With Jared Leto
3 comments
Tila Tequila is bisexual? Sweet.
Happy New Year, Agent(s)!
[...] AB: A hetero New Year with Anderson Cooper and Tila Tequila [...]