Since it’s almost that time of year again, I thought this link dump should follow with theme drinks:

Chaotic Not Random Sex On The Beach: Equal parts Cranberry and Pineapple juice. Add a shot each of vodka and peach schnapps. Stir in highball glass. Make four more of these. Drink in succession. Tell everyone you meet, “Go fuck yourself.”

Irish Slapper: Equal parts Irish cream, Southern Comfort, and vanilla extract. Mix together in cold glass. Manage to drink it with style.

Feisty Miss Belle: Two shots Dark Creme de Cacao, half shot Grand Marnier, two more of Rum. Shake on ice. Strain into cocktail glass. Challenge all the men to a game of poker and kick their asses mercilessly.

Freudian Slippers Aussie Screamer One shot each of Cointreau, Irish Cream, and Vodka. Mix well. Drink a few sips, toss the glass into the Outback, and order a Rum and Coke instead.

Happy Furry Bleeding Heart: One egg, one shot of Grenadine, Splashes of Lemon Juice & Powdered Sugar, two shots of Gin, Seltzer. Shake well over ice. Pour drink into Highball glass, add Seltzer. Stir, sip, and fantasize about Merle Haggard.

Hatemonger’s Crack Young Cocktail: Equal parts Cinnamon Schnapps, Rum, Jagermeister, Rumplemintz. Shake, strain into glass. Proceed to drink, and subsequently vomit those crack young lungs out.

LLamas’ Scratch & Sniff: Mix indiscriminate amounts of Orange and Pineapple Juices. Add shots of Tequila and Chambord. Shake and strain over ice. Drink whilst Photoshopping all night long.

Naked Villainy’s Caesar & Brutus: Both drinks contain Lemon juice, Celery Salt, Tomato Juice. The Caesar also has Tobasco Sauce and Vodka, while the Brutus instead contains Beer. Guess who drinks what?

Seven Inches Of Sobriety: Joan and Jimmy are so excited about their reunion that they won’t need alcohol…Just all-night screwing.

Straight White Southern Sailor: One shot Rum, two shots Scotch, 8 oz Orange Juice. Screw the juice…use Tang instead. Speak many curse words. Maybe afterwards, drink some Apple Brandy by the Chattahoochie.

Raving Athiest’s E Pluribus Unum: Who cares about the ingredients in this drink, since the name is so damn amusing?

Boileryard Lesbian Baseball Team Equal parts Amaretto, Banana Liqueur, Blackberry Liqueur, Meyers Rum, Southern Comfort. Mix things up a bit.

Celeste’s Dirty Girl Scout: Equal parts Coffee Liquer, Creme de Menthe, Irish Cream, Vodka. Shake in tumbler of ice, dump ice, pour into tumbler. All whilst wearing short skirt.

Tilesey’s English Water: One part Gin and three parts Lemonade. Speak of how superior the British are, and since you won’t taste the gin, eventually piss yourself.

Velociman Bartender In A Cup Equal parts Grenadine, Orange Juice, Pineapple Juice, Sweet & Sour Mix, Triple Sec, Vodka. Mix together, shake with ice, strain into chilled glass. Wonder what the fuss is all about. Obsess over site stats. Manage to pull off stunning resurrection of blog with mirthy decor.

UPDATE: Instead of leaving more for tomorrow, here’s the rest…

American Yankee Crankme: Sprite Lemon Lime Soda, twelve pack of Beer, packet of Lemonade powder, one Litre Vodka. I suppose that tells us who’s hosting a party, eh?

Drudge Report Fruitycock: Pour Kool-Aid into glass and add Apple Juice, Cherry Liqueur, Orange Juice, and Raspberry Liqueur. Add little umbrella for a nice effect. Post picture on Gawker site.

Enjoy A Little Piece of Hell: Mix shots of HOT Cinnamon Schnapps and Corn Syrup Sugar Syrup in a double-shot glass. Drink during alone naked time, but be careful as to spillage!

Geek Empire Intellectual Clusterfuck: Fill a tall glass with crushed ice or small cubes, add liquor, pineapple juice, grenadine. Fill the rest of the way with sprite. Stir. Garnish with a marischino cherry. Get drunk and masturbate onto the boss’ office chair.

This Is A Red-Headed Slut One ounce peach schnapps, once ounce Jagermeister. Splash of cranberry juice. Giggle. Combine ingredients in shaker with ice; chill, strain, and shoot to thrill.

Utopian Bad Ass Mofo: Two parts Beer, two parts Tequila, one part Zima. Costa Rican life is the bomb, isn’t it? Mas Tequila!

Silk’s Comfortable Screw Against A Wall: Have a very cute bartender mix up some Galliano, Orange juice, Peach Schnapps, Southern Comfort, Vodka. The rest is censored, baby.

Quotable Jamesyboy’s Blimey: Two shots Scotch, half shot Lime juice, sprinkle of fine sugar. Shake well over ice, strain over cocktail glass. Run like hell to the kabab shop queue.

Boiling Point Executive Sunrise: Wait a second, who drinks at sunrise anyway? I’ll be damned if I’m posting these ingredients…

Junebugg’s Junebug: Mmm. Banana Liqueur, Melon Liqueur, Pineapple Juice, and a touch of Rum. These ingredients do make up for the cheesy name, no?