Here’s yet another difference between celebrities and (relatively) normal people like you and me. A blob of snot from the likes of us is worth… Well, I haven’t actually taken any bids, but I doubt it’s going to help me pay the rent. If you’re Scarlett Johansson, on the other hand, it’s worth roughly $5,300. That’s what a gently used Kleenex gummed up with Scarlett’s precious mucus went for on eBay yesterday. Scarlett appeared on The Tonight Show last week sniffling and dripping from a cold, and told Leno, “I feel like it’s valuable in some way… I feel like I could sell it on eBay.” Leno decided to put the theory to the test, and apparently it’s true. You can sell your snot on eBay for a hefty sum, as long as your name is Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett has no intention of touching the snot-tainted money, which will be donated to the charity USA Harvest.

The buyer’s identity still hasn’t been revealed, but at this point I suppose I might as well come forward. That’s right, it was me. At least that’s what I intend to tell the people on my gift list who receive a baggy full of snot-encrusted tissues signed with Scarlett Johansson’s name. My last-minute Christmas shopping just became much, much easier.