It seems a little unfair to beat up on Lady Gaga twice in two days, but sometimes the silly git just begs for it. And anyway, we don’t do fairness here. Gaga graces the cover of the current issue of V magazine, and inside, natch, are a bunch of pictures of the HMIC (Head Monster in Charge) looking all weird and avant-garde. But Lady Gaga is more than just a seemingly endless series of bizarre outfits and a shorter series of catchy songs. She is also—make no mistake—a deep thinker. So the issue includes a column penned by Gaga, about—hell, I don’t know. Mostly about how much better she is than the likes of you. From the first paragraph:

I myself can look at almost any hemline, silhouette, beadwork, or heel architecture and tell you very precisely who designed it first, what French painter they stole it from, how many designers reinvented it after them, and what cultural and musical movement parented the birth, death, and resurrection of that particular trend.

Gaga goes on to discuss, or at least reference, Marc Bolan, Piet Mondrian, Hussein Chalayan, mirrored bikinis, the harsh treatment she received in school, and Bazooka bubblegum (which gets a footnote, for those readers who don’t “get” the postmodern hipster irony of Bazooka bubblegum). And much, much more—not bad for a two-page column. Stefani—sorry, Gaga—has been slinging this post-deconstructionist hooey since her days attending the Tisch School of the Arts at NYU (as this essay makes painfully obvious). Since then her life has changed drastically, but her underlying views remain the same. Or do they? As Gaga would say: “…the transformation, the context, and the approach taken to reinterpret the meaning of birth and rebirth in terms of fame on a fucking red carpet — this is what creates the modernity of the statement. The past undergoes mitosis, becoming the originality of the future.” I hope that clarifies matters.