As if we need another euphemism for the female equipment, but alas, a marketing genius asks, “Is your betty ready?” BettyBeauty.com has scored what Advertising Age calls a “PR Coup” with its line of hair color “for the hair down there.” Gentleman, your ladies have just found a new way to tell falsehoods about their natural hair colour:

“Are you a true blonde? Of course you are! Finally, the first safe color for the hair down there. BLONDEbetty answers the true blonde question. BLONDEbetty color for the hair down there naturally colors or enhances to match your glorious locks above.

“Follow the easy directions for safe color. Natural-looking. No mess. No drip. Use it every time you color! Be true to your blonde! Get your betty ready!”

Not only do bettys come in blonde but for a mere $20, you can have a Brown Betty, Fun Betty (hot pink), Auburn Betty or a Black Betty. Apparently, this product differs from regular hair colouring due to its no-drip formula and special application tools, which were justifiably warranted:

“[The company founder] asked a gynecologist to track patients for a month (anonymously, of course). He had never paid much attention before in 25 years of practice, but he told Ms. Jarecki that ‘not one person matches.’ A few blondes who had tried did so poorly, he told her.”

The company’s philosophy is said to be a hybrid between Doris Day and porn star Traci Lords…

What utter bullshit. Just shave it off or go get waxed!