Well, that certainly didn’t accomplish much. Just days after Rosie O’Donnell brought joy to the hearts of millions by leaving ABC’s The View, the New York Post is suggesting that the leading candidate to replace her is’. Roseanne Barr. Monsters and Critics adds that other possibilities include Whoopie Goldberg, Joan Rivers, and Bette Midler. Presumably Margaret Cho had some other pressing engagement.
So far I’ve managed to maintain a flawless track record of never having actually seen The View, because I find that total ignorance of the subjects I write about really frees up my writing style. However, reading through those names you can’t help but surmise that an extremely grating voice and a penchant for shooting off one’s mouth in a spectacularly boneheaded manner are now requirements for anyone who hopes to fill Rosie’s size 10 EEE shoes. Also, it looks like contestants lost points for pulchritude. But ABC’s not going to mess with a repulsive but winning formula. Right now, it looks like Rosie will be replaced on The View by someone equally disgusting, and Rosie herself might be back with her own talk show (although the odds are against it). It’s hard to describe that as progress. Of course, if TV actually got any better, we’d have a lot less to write about.