Oprah Winfrey has made herself an unannounced guest at several weddings this year in what is being described as the “Cross Country Crashing Tour” [sic]. Most of the bridal parties, while shocked as hell, still welcomed the famous gift-bearer, who promised in exchange for their cooperation, their weddings would be featured on a fall episode of that damn show of hers.
However, not all brides are thrilled with such surprises nor are the anal-retentive wedding coordinators, who have strategized the ceremony right down to the crappy, custom-dyed bridesmaid dresses and putrid flower arrangements. The nuptual planner of the sixteenth crashed wedding has released a statement about her client’s ruined day and issued a warning concerning the upstaged bride:
” .. what were you thinking Oprah??? .. I’m thinking your Media Trespass is going to cost you and THIS time HEATHER’S going to be the one in the ‘receiving line’.” [sic]
This wedding actually took place in my fair city, and as they say in Oklahoma, “Them’s fighting words.” On her behalf, Oprah was overheard introducing herself as “Seamus O’Toole before letting loose the battle cry: “I’m ready to get drunk!“
