The New York Post speaks of an Axl Rose biographer — an occupation that clearly boggles the mind — who claims to have uncovered startling revelations of why that long-rumoured Guns N’ Roses reunion never materialized:

AXL Rose has become a “virtual recluse” in his Malibu mansion for the past 15 years, according to a new tell-all on the former Guns N’ Roses rocker. “These days he is regarded by some as almost a Howard Hughes figure, the bearded, sun-baked, wild-eyed survivor,” Mick Wall reveals in “W.A.R. - The Unauthorized Biography of William Axl Rose.” His long-awaited comeback album, “Chinese Democracy,” which has been postponed several times over the past 15 years, is in limbo and may never be released. Wall writes that Rose’s bandmate, Slash, is indifferent about his one-time pal - “Everybody keeps going on about reunion, but the truth is, [Axl] doesn’t want to see me any more than I want to see him,” Slash tells the author.

Lots of things going on here, but as a former (and recovering) Guns N’ Roses devotee, I can assure you that upon listening to The Spaghetti Incident?, any desire for a “comeback album” was immediately quashed.

The differences between Howard Hughes and Axl Rose are vast and multifarious, but it all comes down to this: Howard Hughes became a recluse after becoming afflicted with a severe and debilitating case of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Axl Rose is just a total prick.

See also Axl Rose Is Bigfoot, Lindsay Lohan and Axl Rose: Separated At Pants, Tommy Hilfiger Kicks Axl Rose’s Ass.