‘Tis the season for the lack of reason, for, at this very moment, nothing seems sexier than Lindsay Lohan, fetchingly accessorized with a self-tanning buildup ’stache, stupidly blowing those kisses from the red carpet. Consider this the obligatory Valentine’s post, and, if it makes you wanna hurl, then the message has been duly communicated. More of the crapfest below, as well as the likely and rather unsurprising inspiration for the contemporary starlet-blown kiss.

Left to Right: Megan Fox, Miley Cyrus, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale

Left to Right: AnnaLynne McCord, Hayden Panettiere, Christina Aguilera, and (the only one who ever got it right) Marilyn Monroe