As if we needed the mental image of Ozzy Osborne and his wife naked together in bed, now we must learn that the two are experiencing sexual difficulties.

Antidepressants are to blame for the fact that Ozzy is left screaming at his penis, “[But] I’m Ozzy Osborne, the Prince of Fucking Darkness!” For her part, Sharon Osborne is quite happy to no longer have to bone the guy who caught rabies by biting the head off bats: “It’s totally ruined his sex drive. He’s always been very highly sexed so he is in the middle of changing medications. I’m always too tired.” I bet she laughs at him when he cannot perform.