At the ripe old age of 25, Paris Hilton has decided she”’s ready to experience the joys and trials of motherhood. ”’I know in my heart of hearts I would be a great mother,” the Olympic gold medalist in skankery insisted, pointing out that she already looks after ‘many beautiful animals.’ (Her chihuahua Tinkerbell isn’t among them. She got rid of the rat-dog when she decided that it was insufficiently cute.)
Personally, I wouldn”’t wish Paris as a mother on the young Saddam Hussein, but I might be persuaded to reconsider if she picks Brandon Davis as her co-parent. The oil heir/human lamprey has a certain hellspawn quality of his own (as can be seen in his infamous NSFW video here), and watching young Damien Davis-Hilton grow up would probably be more entertaining than any number of Omen remakes.
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I think someone may have to teach her how baby’s are made. She is a virgin….
But what if she was to be the mother of Flea Jr.? Personally, I think she would be a great mum.
Flea, what on God’s green earth are your criteria for “being a great mum”? With all due respect to the woman (i.e., none), she makes Joan Crawford look like Maria von Trapp.
Flea is a Paris fan. I’m just giggling at the thought of what “Flea Jr.” would wear – I’ve never seen a baby decked out in Goth gear.
See, this is exactly what I am talking about. Sort of a “worlds collide” kind of deal. I think the combination of Paris’ reknowned people skills and connections with my puissant masculinity and robust immune system would produce remarkable offspring.
Besides, people are SO mean about Paris for no good reason.
If ever there was a need to require a license to procreate, this is most certainly it.
(BTW, WTF is she wearing on her feet? Are those boots or knee socks and she’s just standing on her tippy toes?)
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If there is a God, her womb is as rotten as her persona. She doesn’t have a personality, unless a 15 year old high school drop out, who can’t read, thinks her emu faced, clown footed, flabby assed, back stabbing, liar and cheat would count as a personality.
Let’s pray her STD ridden cooch has been rendered barren. If not, it’s the final sign of he apocolypse.