I’m not above admitting one of my sources fed me misinformation and that I published it way too early, unlike say the Associated Press. So in the interest of being fair to Paris Hilton I willingly admit that her penis had nothing to do with her being transfered from a state run Penal Institution to house arrest. Full disclosure people, that’s what I’m all about. It seems the reason for her release is she’s a bat-shit-crazy mental midget.
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Paris Hilton’s medical condition was purely psychological and that she was in peril of having a nervous breakdown, and that’s why she was released early this morning.
Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day before. We’re told after Sophy’s visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff that Hilton’s mental state was fragile and she was at risk.
The reason for releasing her had nothing to do with a rash or other physical issues. It was purely in her head.
I’m guessing that means they were going to let her suffer though the rash?
From the Superficial we get word that Paris hath spoken:
“I want to thank the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally. I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes.”
Hell, I can only hope the justice system treats me as fairly when Paris finds out I said she’s sporting wood. If so I’ll be blogging from my new 5,000 square foot ocean-front house in the Bahamas.
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So why didn’t they send her to the State mental hospital like they do everyone else?
Paris says, “Boo-hoo. I’m mentally fragile when deprived of my cell phone, my straightening iron, my three teevees, my hairstylist, my makeup, my wardrobe, my odd-little rat dog, my butler, my maid, my trainer, my publicist, my Brazilian bikini waxer and my near-constant supply of cocaine! Boo-hoo! Let me out, please, Yer Honor.”
Who’d have thought it would actually WORK?
Look, if the LA Sheriff’s office believes that girl was supposedly on the verge of a nervous breakdown after 3 mere days, she’s clearly a better actress than any of us have given her credit for.
[...] commentary about Paris Hilton and how she got sprung from the joint at Agent [...]
I woulda thought the LA Sheriff’s Office and DA and all would have had better taste in kickbacks. “Previously owned” and all.