If you are as bitchy as we are, then you’ll cackle a bit to hear that Jenna Jameson has retired from the pr0n industry. In the words of Jameson herself, “Yes. A hundred percent.” As a symbolic gesture, Jameson has removed her scary breast implants:

Jameson had the implants removed to mark her retirement from the porn industry. While most businesses mark your retirement with a gold watch, removing your implants seems like a pretty sensible porn equivalent.

Luckily, to fill the adult entertainment void is . . . “rocker” Dave Navarro. We’ll let that bit of news absorb for a moment.

On September 27th, Navarro will unleash his modest penis debut pr0n film:

The guitarist has shot feature-length adult movie “Dave Navarro: Broken” as the first in a series of porn movies directed by celebrities, in a scheme established by adult star Tera Patrick and her rocker husband Evan Seinfeld, according to MTV.

That’s weird, because I thought Snoop Dogg had claimed the cherry on the celebrity-directed pr0n industry with his “blaxploitation gangster come soft porn flick,” which was an effort described by reviewers as “Snooptacular.” Then again, Navarro probably doesn’t bother with the true details of celebrity cinematic pr0n origin, since he certainly hasn’t been too discriminating in his choice of potential wife-fuckers. Via Holy Moly:

The Audio Bullys were given a crash course in Hollywood etiquette at a party once when they met Jane’s Addiction guitarist Dave Navarro.

After five minutes of musical chit chat, Navarro chipped in with this irresistible offer: “Well, you guys seem pretty cool. Do you wanna come upstairs and fuck my wife?”

Unfortunately, the thought of having sex with Carmen Electra as her husband watched from the end of the bed didn’t appeal.

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!