Oh, Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof, we had such high hopes for you, dahling. After all, we’re still waiting for you to fulfill that promise of uniting Brits and Muslims. As to your drugged-up private life, we certainly weren’t deluded as to your recent and future drug overdoses, but we did harbor a wee little pipe dream, in which you’d break from dating musician after bloody musician and hook up with that cute flasher bloke. However, we’ve thrown all expectations into the rubbish after hearing of your drive-thru Vegas nuptuals (at the same chapel where Britney Spears took her first wedding vows) with some dude that you’ve been dating for less than a a month:
Notorious bad girl Peaches, the 19-year-old daughter of music legend Sir Bob Geldof, married Max Drummey from Massachusetts band Chester French at the Little White Wedding Chapel last week.
The couple began their whirlwind romance several weeks ago and family members were only told about the wedding plans at the last minute, according to reports.
Just one month ago Peaches dating musician Faris Badwan, the 21-year-old lead singer of UK band The Horrors.
Things get even less classy, which is not entirely unexpected, with the official PR statement:
Peaches and Max Drummey are delighted to announce their very happy marriage… Max’s band, Chester French, played at the ITV iTunes festival, where Peaches was a co-presenter of the show. The acclaimed new Boston band were signed by Pharrell Williams to his label Star Track, a subsidiary of the giant Interscope Label. Their marriage has the full support of their family and friends. Peaches and Max did not want unnecessary publicity, but following growing media speculation, have decided to set out the facts. No further comment from either will be forthcoming.
Right, Peaches. You wished to avoid “unnecessary publicity” yet didn’t mind pimping out Max’s upcoming debut album within the announcement of these blessed nuptuals. That makes total sense.
