Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the latest installment in Woody Allen’s weirdly protracted cinematic career, premiered at Cannes over the weekend, and the French seemed to think it was the finest piece of screen comedy since The Nutty Professor. The film received a 10-minute standing ovation, much to the pleasure of Allen and two of his four stars: Penélope Cruz and Rebecca Hall. Javier Bardem couldn’t attend because of a family conflict. Less excusable was the absence of Scarlett Johansson, who decided she was too big a star to drop in on a chintzy little hootenanny like the Cannes Film Festival without some special treatment. Warner Brothers Films, the distributor for Vicky Cristina Barcelona, was quite willing to pay for the flight, the accommodations, limo service, and a hair and fashion consultant for the three female stars. But Scarlett wanted more. Specifically, she demanded a personal make-up artist at a cost of 5,000 Euros a day for the four-day visit, which comes to (*some quick googling*)—a total of $31,032.00. More or less. Scarlett also planned to stay at a hotel 25 or 30 miles outside of Cannes, rather than staying in Cannes itself like Allen and the other cast members.

Scarlett’s absence was noticed, but not exactly deplored. The Daily Mail had a juicy quote from one socialite at the premiere:

“Nobody cared she wasn’t there,” snapped a prominent New York socialite as she noted, approvingly, that Cruz looked stunning in a low-cut gown designed by Marchesa while Hall, daughter of theatre legend Sir Peter Hall, was sparkling in a tumbling silk creation by Alberta Ferretti. “The movie belonged to Penelope and Rebecca anyway with great help from Javier,” the socialite added.

It was a dumb move for an actor who’s already regarded as overhyped, but at least she didn’t generate additional ill will by making the Cannes crowd listen to her sing. Although that might have gone over pretty well, since she sounds a bit like Serge Gainsbourg.