Without Pete Doherty at large, the tabloids just don’t know what to do with the extra copy space. Hence the latest rumour that Pete shall become manager of a celebrity soccer team called “Doherty FC.” Quite rightfully, NME pokes a little fun at this made-up story:

“Pete needs something to get him on the straight and narrow,” said a Mr. A. N. Insider. “He loves football, so this could be just the tonic.”

Oddly enough, Doherty didn’t do badly during a celebrity soccer match, but getting him to actually show up on a regular basis would be rather impossible.