Pete Doherty may have just entered rehab for the fourth time, but he swears this round of treatment will cure what ails him. He claims this knowledge came to him through a visit from Jesus, who basically told him to get his shit together in not so many words.

According to Pete, he’s been praying virtuously for redemption when Jesus appeared before him and ordered him to “pull himself together and repent his sins.” Doherty has allegedly made arrangements to be baptized once he leaves rehab. Again.

Britain’s Daily Star newspaper goes on to report more Doherty Diety speak:

“[Pete] is considering giving away his money because Jesus said, ‘It would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven’.”

Pete Doherty may be thinking about hypodermic needles, rather than sewing needles, and methinks hallucinations can be mistaken for actual events, but if all these delusions helps him get off the heroin and crack, so be it. The old chap needs a miracle.

UPDATE: Sigh. Persuant to the emails from a few REPRESSED folks out there, I modified the graphic. I would toss up a few lesbians instead, because hey, that’s acceptable, but nah. Go google it, you lazy asses.

UPDATE II: The malfeasant Doc Weasel offers up the following substitute for the censored image. Somehow, I doubt this will go over well…