Can anyone explain the genesis of this trend? First Amy Winehouse (recently nominated for six Grammys in the highly competitive category of Most Fucked Up Female Entertainer on the Face of the Planet), seeking help with her rather amazing drug problem, turns to—who else?—Pete Doherty. Because Pete knows all about kicking the drug habit. And by “all about,” I mean “absolutely nothing about.” Now Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, who has his own substance abuse problems related to the death of his mother and a messy breakup with his girlfriend, is planning to share a flat with Pete, so the two can “work on their problems together.”

Look, it might make a little sense to seek help from someone who’s been there, but Pete’s still there. He can’t help Amy quit drugs because he can’t quit himself. He can’t help Jonathan move past a failed relationship because he’s still tangled up in his own pathological relationship with Kate. Or Irina. Or Amelie. Actually, his relationship with drugs seems pretty rock solid, so maybe if they substitute “drugs” for “human beings”… Nah. Seeking help from Pete is like a bad swimmer who decides they’d be better off getting out of the water and jumping into something more supportive, like quicksand.