Nothing Wrong With A Little
Property Damage, Mates

This time, ’tis no joke, mates.

Those bloody geniuses running the NME Shockwave Awards consented to hand out the “Hero Of The Year” award to Pete Doherty. To be fair, our antihero, having spent several months of the past year in rehab, was positively angelic in comparison to the years of yore.

To Wit: In 2007, Doherty was only arrested twice in the entirety of the year; In January 2006, he managed to get arrested twice in one day.

Notwithstanding Doherty’s status as a “work in progress,” the English red tops remain, as usual, unimpressed. Yet they fail to see the actual implications at work here. This could actually be progress, mates. I suspect that Pete was likely named Hero of the Year as a conciliatory measure, for after two consecutive years, he lost the “Sexiest Man” title. Methinks this omission was due to last year’s earwax debacle. Ooh, awkward.

Poor Doherty was, however, taken ill and unable to accept his unlikely award in person. Not to worry . . . it was probably just a case of cat crack fever.

Since NME’s Shockwave Awards Blog is nearly impossible to navigate, you can find a full list of winners here.