Christina writes about the nonverbal, nonerogenous cues that men use to show their affection to their lady. She called out to some males to provide a masculine perspective. Three of her devotees, Mr. Helpful and Eric. and Dash have also written on the topic in a most respectable manner.

Ahem. The LLama Butchers have yet to respond to her callout, so I hereby second the motion. How do you show that LLama love to your ladies without actually saying anything? C’mon boys, it’s Valentine’s Day.

Now I shall exploit the poor Lad by using him somewhat as an illustration. The most important thing he can do, in public or private, to show his affections is to rub my neck, which is the primary area where my stress manifests itself. This tells me that he knows that perhaps I am in discomfort, and even better, he gives a rat’s ass about it. In addition, this also causes me to think ahead to later in the evening, to certain orgasmic activities that cause immese relaxation.

Another thing that I adore–simply adore–is when my man strokes my hair very gently. This shows an appreciation of femininity, which can also lead to some nice kissing. The feminine aspect though is very important here. In this postmodern era, women have been built up and let down by the feminist regime, and essentially, most of us end up doubling our duties between mothering and full-time work or studies. As such, it is a grand relief to be reminded that our men are there for us, and that they will take care of us if we fail to satisfy all of these requirements.

As such, treating a lady like a princess is a forgotten art. Don’t get carried away here though, as this is specific to the individual and the dynamic within the couple. The Lad does this (most days) quite well, mostly because he inquired early within the relationship as to what was acceptable and what was just lame, i.e., flowers and poetry. In my opinion, the sexiest things for a man to do include opening doors, fixing a flat tire, making sure diet coke is abundantly available in the refrigerator, and also carrying me around at various opportunities (over a puddle for example, and yes, also to bed). These are the little things that show the difference between men and women, because we are very different after all. Of course, above all, respect is present during all of these gestures, and it must flow in both directions. If a man is concerned for my physical and emotional well-being, well then, I’m more inclined to give him the blowjob he so desires. It all works both ways, know what I mean?

UPDATE: Nevermind. Screw Valentine’s Day. It sucks, and I hate it. Are you single people happy now??? Mission accomplished: You have managed to ruin an otherwise good day, simply because you are bitter about not being coupled. That is really shitty. Let’s just forget Christmas too while we’re at it, now shall we?