What, the fake lesbian thing isn’t quite bringing in the cash? (As an aside, that same dude with whom I was debating the Catholic schoolgirl thing now refers to Katy Perry as a “thespian” “thesbian,” who is only acting like a “vagitarian.”) Still, since Katy Perry wasn’t gonna, you know, actually kiss a girl onstage, she needed an attention-grabbing scheme for the Spanish VMAs. So, at the end of her rendition of “I Kissed A Girl,” she took a dive into a massive cake. Then, she fell on her ass four times. Finally, she resigned herself to, on hands and knees, scuttling offstage like a slutty beetle. Shoulda brought kneepads, bitch.

See the video here.