Poor Tom Cruise Loses His Packer

By Bedhead in Scientology, Tom Cruise

cruisepacker

Yowza. Scientology has lost its wealthiest member, Australian billionaire James Packer, who has “quietly distanced himself” from the cult. His recruiter, Tom Cruise, certainly won’t be happy about this:

Members of Mr Packer’s inner circle have confirmed that the billionaire, who had ranked as Scientology’s wealthiest member in the world, was no longer undertaking Scientology courses and had slowly moved away from the religion, telling his closest friends he no longer “needs it”.

Naturally, Cruise recruited Packer at his weakest moment, which shouldn’t surprise anyone familiar with the COS’s tactics:

The religion entered Mr Packer’s realm at one of the lowest points in his personal and business life. He was overweight and depressed, his marriage to his first wife, Jodhi Meares, had ended and he was reeling from the humiliating and very public collapse of One.Tel, losing $350 million from the family business on the way.

Thanks to his Hollywood confidant Cruise, Mr Packer and his fortune were embraced at Scientology’s highest levels.

Ha. I’m sure they were welcomed with open wallets.

(Thanks to proud former Scientologist RW.)



No comments

[...] The wealthiest Scientologist comes to his senses (ABH) [...]

05.09.08 | 2:07 pm

Don’t forget the free L. Ron Hubbard tattoo.

05.09.08 | 4:09 pm
RW

My whole body is smiling and for never failing to mention this stuff I want to give you a great big kiss so suspicious you’ll have to ask yourself “what the hell did he mean by THAT??” when you’re driving home!

05.09.08 | 5:58 pm
ak

I think the aliens should’ve explained human laughter to Tom Cruise a little more completely before they set him down on the planet. Shown him some footage or something. Tom, see how the humans are laughing? You should imitate that. Don’t carry on like a rabid baboon just to try to prove you’re one of them.

05.09.08 | 6:16 pm

[...] Tom Cruise loses his Packer (AgentBedhead) [...]

05.10.08 | 3:02 am


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