Poor Tom Cruise Loses His Packer

By Agent Bedhead in Scientologists, Tom Cruise

cruisepacker

Yowza. Scientology has lost its wealthiest member, billionaire James Packer, who has “quietly distanced himself” from the cult. His recruiter, Tom Cruise, certainly won’t be happy about this:

Members of Mr Packer’s inner circle have confirmed that the billionaire, who had ranked as Scientology’s wealthiest member in the world, was no longer undertaking Scientology courses and had slowly moved away from the religion, telling his closest friends he no longer “needs it”.

Naturally, Cruise recruited Packer at his weakest moment, which shouldn’t surprise anyone familiar with the COS’s tactics:

The religion entered Mr Packer’s realm at one of the lowest points in his personal and business life. He was overweight and depressed, his marriage to his first wife, Jodhi Meares, had ended and he was reeling from the humiliating and very public collapse of One.Tel, losing $350 million from the family business on the way.

Thanks to his Hollywood confidant Cruise, Mr Packer and his fortune were embraced at Scientology’s highest levels.

Ha. I’m sure they were welcomed with open wallets.

(Thanks to proud former Scientologist RW.)



5 Feedbacks on "Poor Tom Cruise Loses His Packer"

TGIF Links | Celebrity Smack! Gossip & Entertainment Blog

[...] The wealthiest Scientologist comes to his senses (ABH) [...]



Flea

Don’t forget the free L. Ron Hubbard tattoo.



RW

My whole body is smiling and for never failing to mention this stuff I want to give you a great big kiss so suspicious you’ll have to ask yourself “what the hell did he mean by THAT??” when you’re driving home!



ak

I think the aliens should’ve explained human laughter to Tom Cruise a little more completely before they set him down on the planet. Shown him some footage or something. Tom, see how the humans are laughing? You should imitate that. Don’t carry on like a rabid baboon just to try to prove you’re one of them.



Friday Ambivalency…on the other hand… » Ayyyy!

[...] Tom Cruise loses his Packer (AgentBedhead) [...]



Please Leave a Comment!


Please note: Comments may be moderated. It may take a while for them to show on the page, so don't call us cryptofascists if this happens.

  • "I guess she's kind of like the new Wonkette, with manners, style and without that nasty itch three days later." - The LLama Butchers

    "I never used to care about
    Pete Doherty. Now I cannot get enough of British pop degenerates."
    - Cranky at Six Meat Buffet

    "A devastating critic. A wickedly funny coquette."
    - 1 Step Beyond


    • Our incredible Concert selection, featuring American Idols Live!, Dancing with the Stars, and Madonna, is at your fingertips! We also have the complete NFL schedule, including seats at Dallas Cowboys games.


    hollywoodads

    gossipads

    Fantasy Celebrity Leagues

    myspace

    dotspotter

    codepinko

    feed

    NOTICE: Agent Bedhead claims no credit for any images posted on this site unless otherwise stated. All visual content is copyright of its respectful owners.

    The editors make no claims or warranties as to the correctness of the information on this site. Agent Bedhead has no control over and does not endorse any external site that contains links to or references Agent Bedhead.

    If you own rights to any of the images and don't want them to appear on this site, please contact us via e-mail and the images will be removed.