Spencer Pratt really ought to be teaching a graduate course in the art of fame-whoring. Try as I might to avoid devoting a single pixel to this reality TV chancre, he makes himself impossible to avoid. Pratt’s latest witless stunt was to announce that he was changing his name to King Spencer Pratt and crowning himself “king of America.” (Clearly, the boy-whore fails to understand that our American government is a republic, and not an insufferable-douchebagocracy.) That should have been good for about twelve hours in the news cycle. But Pratt promptly followed up this announcement by taking on Ryan Seacrest, who on Wednesday asked his radio listeners which reality stars they’d like to see tased. A perfectly reasonable question, but Pratt was twittering and tweeting like a banshee at the very idea and followed up with a formal statement:

What’s next, Ryan — guns and knives? Waterboarding? It is irresponsible and offensive for someone with your platform to promote violence on this level. For someone who produces reality content, I’m shocked that you’d encourage people to tase reality stars. Would it be funny to you if one of your Kardashians got tased? Is that how you treat your talent, Ryan?

To be honest, I think Seacrest is onto something here. A game show format, maybe. Something like Who Wants to Get Tased?, with Regis Philbin offering his reality-star contestants a choice of $50,000 or 50,000 volts if they can’t tell him who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb. On second thought, skip the game-show format. A half hour of Regis tasing King Spencer Pratt over and over would get twice the ratings, and could keep running for years.

(Image courtesy of JustJared).