Bloody hell, what has Scarlett Johansson gone and dipped her head into this time? A few weeks ago, Scarlett was wearing her tresses in a much less drastic shade of reddish brown, and it looked, well, okay, but things have taken a resolute turn for the worse. Apparently, ScarJo has entered an experimental phase, but you’d think that she’d at least go back to blonde for a Dolce & Gabbana appearance, you know, to match that advert campaign that paid so handsomely. Instead, Scarlett’s hair is now glowing in a plum-coloured, radioactive mess that looks wholly unnatural, not only because it doesn’t compliment her skin tone but also because this particular hair shade isn’t native to the human species.

Regardless, Scarlett and her relentlessly dreadful hair made it to Milan Fashion week, which, “despite tough economic times,” is continuing at nearly full force. Supposedly, the D&G guys were hoping to promote a new lipstick line here, but this distracting hair colour is so spectacularly awful that I can’t stop staring at it from every fucking angle. Oh, and I’d elaborate on that leopard print trench coat, but my vital signs have suffered enough here.