Sharon Osbourne is nearing 60, but she really doesn’t look bad for a woman her age. Granted, she’s had a bit of work done — about $480,000 worth of work, to be precise — but it doesn’t really approach Joycelyn Wildenstein levels of garishness. However, she is feeling some buyer’s remorse about the 34DDs she had installed a few years back:

I wish I had never had my breasts done. They have put these bloody great bags in that are too f****ing round. It is like [having] a waterbed on your chest. I hate my [breasts].

Sharon plans to have the funbags taken out while she gets her body refurnished with something a little more understated and tasteful. Then she’ll auction off the old implants on eBay. She doesn’t plan on having any more work done until she hits sixty — about three years from now — but at that point more Sharon Osbourne replacement parts might start showing up on eBay. Wait long enough, collect the whole set, and you’ll be able to build your very own Sharon Osbourne in the privacy of your own home. Then won’t you be the lucky one.