You can say a lot of things about Lindsay Lohan. Call her subliterate. Call her an attention whore. Call her a coke-snorting, hooch-swilling clubslut with the impulse control of a methed up squirrel monkey. But she is slowly winning my respect for her acting career, which defies her persistent attempts to kill it with a cockroach-like tenacity. Compared to this girl, John Travolta was a flash in the pan. Want proof? Lindsay has been hired for yet another movie, after being dropped from Ye Olde Times and Manson Girls in the space of a single week. Insurance was rumored to be a major issue in the back-to-back cannings; after Lindsay’s subpar performance on Georgia Rules (which earned her a stern letter from Morgan Creek CEO James Robinson) and I Know Who Killed Me, people were starting to call Lindsay “uninsurable.” To go for the money quote from an article written after her second DUI:

“I hope they put her in jail for as long as they can,” said Bernie Brillstein, whose company has represented John Belushi and Chris Farley. “Maybe she’ll realize how serious it is. I believe she’s uninsurable. And when you’re uninsurable in this town, you’re done.”

Amazingly enough, Rick Schwartz and Plum Pictures found an insurer who would cover the possibility that Lindsay might be unable to meet her obligations in Labor Pains. The company isn’t named, presumably because CEOs Ali Lohan and Samantha Ronson aren’t quite ready to make an IPO at this point in time. I hope they go public soon—I need collision coverage for my 1980 Ford Pinto, and these people sound like just the patsies bold risk-takers for that kind of job.