It’s a rough job around these parts, for I’ve spent a good half hour staring at Sienna Miller’s breasts, or rather, the lack thereof. After all, the only thing I find remotely interesting about the impending G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra film is Sienna’s alleged fake boobery. According to a quote from a rather miffed Sienna, her own boobs weren’t impressive enough to fill the bra of her character, The Baroness:
“[I wear a] tight black leather outfit. And much bigger boobs. They gave me these things that looked like chicken fillets. The director said, ‘I’m gonna be honest, I like girls with big boobs’, and I don’t have them so we made them bigger. At least he’s honest. But I was mildly offended,”
This sounds exactly like something from the mouth of Sienna, who is known for a certain lack of discretion coupled with an abundance of righteous indignence when it comes to her own body. However, an official statement from director Stephen Sommers has, apparently, refuted the rumour:
“Everybody here laughed because they know I would NEVER say that to an actress,” says the filmmaker. “I guess the costume department gave her a tight fitting bra, but no one gave her rubber breasts or whatever. It is 100 percent Sienna Miller.”
Well, Sommers could, arguably, be telling the truth here, as far as the actual film itself goes. The film stills below come a lot closer to (NSFW) Sienna’s actual boobies, which I’d guestimate at an A-cup size. Now, the film’s promotional posters are an entirely different story as well as a vastly enhanced cup size. Either by way of Photoshop or “chicken fillets,” that is definitely not Sienna Miller’s actual boobage. For sure, Sienna’s magical ass has received a shitload of extra attention as well, perhaps not in the size or shape department but at least for purposes of lighting and definition. Seriously, how else would Sienna’s ass be both spotlighted and well-shadowed? We’re not talking about the fucking Grand Canyon here, mates.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra hits theaters on August 7, and I won’t be watching it.
Imagery: Paramount/Hasbro
