Silence Of The Doherty

Pete Doherty has been slated to appear on Jonathan Ross’ BBC1 chat show on June 22, and this appearance guarantees Pete some publicity that doesn’t involve court visits, video footage of drug use, or tossing random condiments at paparazzi.

When Pete appeared on this very show last July, he famously confessed his feelings for his supposedly estranged girlfriend: “I love her bones, I always will.” The couple has since returned to official status, so Kate Moss has now gone on a preemptive strike and forbade Doherty from talking about any wedding plans the two might possess. One would assume the following guidelines may also help keep Pete on track:

DO
1) Talk about music
2) Remember your guitar
3) Wear your belt around your waist
4) Clean your fingernails
5) Talk about how hard you are trying to get clean

DON’T
1) Talk about the wedding
2) Mention my ex or your ex
3) Mention my kid or your kid
4) Refer to me as wifey
5) Smoke crack

Unless Kate plans to rig Pete’s wax-filled ears with a microphone, I would say these guidelines are pretty much out the door. Good luck to you, Pete.

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